i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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