He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
