This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
