He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
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Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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