no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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