There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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