There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
