whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize