I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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