I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
