Me. At least after what I've been through.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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