I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize