Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
