I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
