the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
