You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize