Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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