with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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