Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
