3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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