He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
