Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
