But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
