Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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