I think I died a long time ago.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
