Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
