I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i believe in u and ur pee
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
