I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
