I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
