I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
