Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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