Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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