i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
