Plan B is the new Plan A
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
