K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
