I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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