We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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