I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
high people should be assigned attendants
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
