It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
time to smoke my breakfast
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
