Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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