Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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