And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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