if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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