Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
