I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
