If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
