it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
