hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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