I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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