first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
