i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sext me about skeletons
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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