You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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