What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
