it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
