well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
