He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
