His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
