Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
