using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
