i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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