i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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