Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
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