Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
