We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
